(It's been forever since I've written. I completely apologize, this summer has been tough for me. Writing has escaped me, but I've found it again, and there will be new works, I promise.<3)

I don't really care if anyone reads this. Perfection truly is a weird title, because perfection doesn’t exist.  But I'm looking for perfection in my eyes.

That might sound snobby, but it's true. I'm done settling for just anyone. It's time that I found a man that made me happy.

I'm not a picky person. I don't need someone to be 100% everything I want, because I don't want that. No, it’s not truly contradicting. I want someone that has qualities I want, but is someone unique. Did I make that clear? Probably not, anyways, here’s a list of things I would possibly want in a man.

1. Someone that accepts me for who I am. Someone who doesn’t try to change the person I am, and the person I am becoming.
2. You need to get my dad’s approval. It would even be nice if you asked him if you could date me. That’s a true gentleman.
3. Someone who will just hang out with me, will cuddle with me, and fall asleep next to me. Preferably having me in their arms, but if they have to sleep towards the wall, I'd understand.
4. Someone who shows me off to their friends, their ex girlfriends, their parents. I want to be a part of your life, and I want you to be part of mine as well.
5. If you dance in the rain with me, that would be nice also. Even just random dancing or singing would be nice. I'm a random sort of person.
6. Someone who doesn't buy me expensive gifts. I know that sounds strange, and I bet you're thinking "she doesn’t really mean that, she's just saying that to make herself more appealing." But that’s not true. I don't really like gifts, once in awhile is okay to me. But what I like better is when a guy will just buy me a pop when they stop at the gas station on the way to my house, or buys me a book randomly. I love to read. That would be a plus in my book.
7. Someone who isn't scared to be themselves. Someone with quality.
8. Someone who will send me random texts, and someone who at least answers the text I send them. I understand if you can’t talk, but at least send me a text telling me that! I can't read your mind, and if you don't answer me I will assume you're mad at me. That’s the kind of person I am.
9. Someone who will hold my hand when were out, or make me feel special when were around people. I don't need to be the only person you see in the room, because that would be selfish, but a little kiss now and then wouldn't hurt.
10. Someone who can listen to my ranting, and calm me down. I rant a lot, and half the time I don’t mean what I say, so the ability to listen to someone and not take everything serious is needed when dating me.
11. Someone who doesn’t want just SEX. I am not a sex machine fellas, although it’s enjoyable. I want someone who wants romance. I'm a romantic person and I would love someone to exercise this with.
12. Speaking of romance, a little of that wouldn't hurt. Leaving me little facebook/myspace/text comments or w/e would be adorable! Leaving little notes around my room would be even more adorable. And better yet, writing me love letters would be the most adorablestest ever. I know thats not a word. Deal with it.
13. I don't really like this number.
14. Someone who isn't picky. I'm not a picky person, I just tend to go with the flow. Learn it and love it baby.
15. Someone who doesn't mind CURVES. I'm a curvy woman, I'm not a size 4 or a size 5. I'm chubby, and I enjoy it. I enjoy the food I eat, and I enjoy the woman I am so if you can't deal with that, then leave.

See, I want a man by my side, even if I have to wait for a very long time to find him. If you're going to try and use me don't even try. I will see right through you.

I love flaws. I don't mind them at all, I learn to love them, and thats what I'm looking for, someone who will enjoy my flaws, and their flaws together.

Let me know, Mr. Imperfect, if you're out there for me.

Love,
Amanda

Blue skies and white clouds. Cigarette smoke swirling around my finger. Couples holding hands. Pizza and noodles. The night sky and the feeling of being small. Perfected breathing, in tune to the world. Alarms. Music. Lemonade and green tea. Raising canes and Taco Bell. Weed. Feeling high, feeling happy. X. Feeling loved and overwhelmed. Sex. Feeling loved and feeling two come together as one. Love. History. Reading. Future. Bathroom, kitchen, front steps, backyard. Rearranging, shower, naked, lying naked. Purse, new clothes. Rubber boots and slippers. Big wool socks. Wow. Handcock. Hands around waists and kisses on the cheek. Kisses that make you feel weak. Teddy bears, chocolate. Valentine’s day, the 8^th of every month. Drugs and dreams, feeling safe.

All of this reminds me of you. All of this is gone now.

[Update on life: been single for almost a week. ick. i miss him. we still talk everyday. trying to become friends instead. Mom is going to try and find her old typewriter for me. I'm excited. I want to write on a typewriter, so i can feel closer to Earnest Hemingway, and Emily Bronte. How amazing would that be?]